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Essays by
David Michael Green

Hope You Die Before I get Old

As a Baby Boomer, I’m sure not encouraging generational warfare in America. I have everything to lose from such a battle. On the other hand, though, as a political analyst, I can hardly believe we’re not seeing it. Never has it been so manifestly logical. Never would it be so thoroughly deserved. And yet, never has it been so astonishingly absent from the playing field of American politics

Click here to download Hope You Die . . .

The Ashes Have Been Passed
to a New Generation

We live in the most astonishing of times, politically speaking. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. There is so much I would hate to try to have explain to an alien about our politics. Same with a human five centuries from now – it’s just that I’m not so sure there’ll be any! In America, a regressive majority of one on the Supreme Court disappears a whole clause from the Second Amendment in order to interpret it favorably for an industry merchandizing mass quantities of small death machines . . .

Click here to download The Ashes Have Been Passed . . .

The Poverty of Bushism-Reaganism

Back in the day when communism was a politically viable economic program, its capitalist enemies used to love to rail against the evils of “Marxism-Leninism”. Interestingly, they almost always attacked it for all the wrong reasons, citing, for example, the lack of political freedom in societies where it was being practiced, the aggressive tendencies of national leaders in those countries seeking to conquer their neighbors, or the ideology’s hostility to religion. That last one in particular was always a good one for getting Americans to rise out of their pews in disgust and anger. Those commies don’t even have Jesus!

Click here to download The Poverty of Bushism and Reaganism

A Whole School of Trout in the Milk

Now that Scott McClellan – a member of the Bush inner circle dating back to Texas days – has come out of the closet, it becomes increasingly unimaginable how any of the true-believers can continue to truly believe. But they do. One wonders what it would take to dissuade these folks from their faith-based politics and the belief that the war in Iraq was justified. Will they need Laura Bush to actually turn on her husband? What if George’s pastor came out and divulged that the president had broken down and confessed all, begging the lord’s forgiveness?

Click here to download A Whole School of Trout in the Milk

The Audacity of Dopes

Greetings, American Servicemen and Servicewomen (those of you who are still alive) ‘Happy’ Memorial Day. This is a message from your good friends in America’s conservative movement – otherwise known as the regressive right – and our nice team running the country’s government, the Republican Party. You remember us, don’t you? We’re the folks who very much like to have our pictures taken with you, especially right before elections. You’ve been voting for us for years. Your drill instructors get you all pumped up with testosterone and adrenaline and then we’re kind enough to provide outlets for your energies in extended quagmires like Vietnam or Iraq.

Click here to download The Audacity of Dopes

Let's All Pretend

Barack Obama did it again! He told the truth. Jesus Christ, when is somebody gonna get to this guy and teach him the rules of American politics? Dude, it goes like this: We’re bringing democracy to the Middle East. Tax cuts for the obscenely wealthy are to stimulate the economy. George Bush is more patriotic than Al Gore. Our government is there to serve the people. America is always a force for good in the world. There is a god, he is a nice fatherly-looking Caucasian fellow with a big snowy beard (if the resemblance to the god of American children – Santa Claus – doesn’t by itself tell you everything you need to know about religion, you’re still not paying attention!). And he’s quite angry at Muslims and other people who didn’t get the memo on who to worship..

Click here to download Let's All Pretend

7 Ridiculously Practical Suggestions for Ending America's Addiction to War

Seeing John McCain and David Petraeus talking about the Iraq debacle in early April is a frightening reminder of how easily we Americans are able to slip into war. And how frequently we do. And how hard it is to get out once we’re in. Assuming, of course, we even want to get out.

Click here to download 7 Ridiculously Practical Suggestions

The Swiftboating of Barack Obama

If there's anything I’ve learned about American politics over the past decade, it’s this: First, regressives will do anything – and I mean anything – to obtain power (the real purpose of which is to loot the public fisc of all items not securely nailed to the floor). And, second, just about everything they try works when employed against an American public possessed of stunning political immaturity. It comes as little surprise, therefore, that two things happened over the last couple of weeks of arch. One, that Barack Obama was swiftboated by means of a bogus inference in order to make him look like an angry black radical. And two, that a lot of dumb voters went for it.

Click here to download The Swiftboating of Barack Obama

Happy Anniversary America

Watching George W. Bush in operation in the middle of March is like having an out-of-body experience. On acid. During a nightmare. In a different galaxy. As he presides over the latest disaster of his administration (No, it’s not a terrorist attack – that was 2001! No, it’s not a catastrophic war – that was 2003! No, it’s not a drowning city – that was 2005! This one is an economic meltdown, ladies and gentlemen!) bringing to it the same blithe disengagement with which he’s attended the previous ones, you cannot but stop and gaze in stark comedic awe, realizing that the most powerful polity that ever existed on the planet twice picked this imbecilic buffoon as its leader, from among 300 million other choices.

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Love American Style

Americans love to think that we’re a peaceful people, and that we fight wars only when we must.Unfortunately, you can count in nanoseconds how long those assertions hold up when exposed to such insidious commie dirty tricks as the application of logic or the examination of empirical history. Sure, any war can be spun as some necessity against some Very Bad Person, preferably of brown skin, slanted eyes and/or differing deity. Not only can any war be so spun, probably every war there ever was has been, at least since the days when governments had to start offering some justification or another for their little foreign adventures.

Click here to download Love American Style

What A Freakin' Great War

What a ding-dong I am! For months – nay, years! – I’ve been ranting about how screwed up the war in Iraq has been, and how disastrous have been its consequences. What a fool I’ve been! In reality, it’s actually turned out pretty great. That’s what I learned when I read William Kristol’s recent New York Times piece, “The Democrats’ Fairy Tale”. In a stroke of thoughtfulness, generosity and uncanny prescience, the Times was kind enough recently to hire Kristol to write a regular column for their op-ed page. I guess that’s because Ariel Sharon was unavailable and David Duke was on vacation.

Click here to download What A Great Freakin' War . . .

You're Damned Right I'm Angry.
Why Aren't You?

I write articles each each week with titles like “Everything I Need to Know About the Regressive Right I Learned In Junior High”, or “Conservatism Is Politics For Kindergartners”, or “Schadenfreude Is My Middle Name”. I regret doing so very much. Believe it or not, I really don’t like spewing venom, sarcasm and rage all over my computer keyboard.

Click here to download You're Damned Right I'm Angry . . .

Everything I Need to Know
About the Regressive right,
I Learned in High School

Regressive Conservatives aren’t really so hard to figure out. You just need to know the key. It’s junior high. Remember those delightful years of comity and enlightenment, comradeship, maturity and social inclusiveness? Yeah, me neither . . .

Click here to download Everything I Need to Know . . .

The Surge is Working? Fine. Then Bush Should be Impeached

So the surge is working, eh? Well, maybe, though you’d be a fool to necessarily believe it, especially coming from such reliable sources as the Bush administration and the American media. It’s not like they actually ever got any single thing about this war right. Ever. For the quality of media reporting we’ve been getting – from WMD hype to the Downing Street Memos to election theft – these guys might as well have been on a different planet.

Click here to download The Surge is Working? . . .

If Conservatism is the Ideology of Freedom, I'm the Queen of England

I wish I had a nickel for every time a conservative told a lie in order to sell an ideology that would otherwise be hopelessly unappealing. But, then, what the hell would I do with ten kazillion, trillion, dollars? I wouldn’t know how to spend that much loot . . .

Click here to download If Conservatism is the ideology of Freedom

Just For The Sake Of Argument

Imagine if an incompetent boob like Al ‘Sore Loserman’ Gore or, gulp, French-speaking John Kerry had been at the helm these last years. Things might have really gone awry . . .

Click here to download Just For The Sake Of Argument

Murdering Butter With Guns

One day soon, Americans will have to make tough choices they are avoiding regarding its insanely expensive national defense policy . . .

Click here to download Murdering Butter With Guns

History Is The Last Refuge
Of Scoundrels

"There’s little George H.W. Bush can do to avoid the shame of having fathered the boy who nearly ruined America, and may yet still do so in his remaining 17 months as the country’s emperor. Back in the day, of course, the shamed father would have removed himself to the garden shed or some other suitable location on the family compound and “done the right thing” to avoid the stinging stigma of responsibility for a mess now so large it makes the Exxon Valdez look like a stopped-up toilet in comparison. But I guess Poppy finds denial a more convenient route.”

Click here to download History Is The Last Refuge Of Scoundrels

Karl Rove & The Damage Done

"IMAGINE you could be a gambler, and never lose.Now you understand Karl Rove. How can a gambler never lose? Only when he gets to throw the dice, and pick up the winnings, while somebody else stakes the bet. To a certain degree, that’s the story of any political consultant. Somebody else finances the campaign, somebody else is the candidate, and the consultant becomes a political genius if the candidate wins, or the poor guy who just happened to be stuck with a lousy horse should the candidate lose”

Click here to download Karl Rove & The Damage Done

Give It Back, Dick

"I wonder that had any government figure ever dared do something so callously brazen as what Cheney has done here, he or she would have been politically lynched by an angry mob of voters. The Vice President making millions off a war he launched? You’re joking, right? Not today. Not anymore”

Click here to download Give It Back, Dick

It's Time To Hijack The Democrats

Huge numbers of Americans are disgusted with both the Republican and the Democratic parties right now, and are hungrily clamoring for a third alternative. I know, I know – imagine that! What’s not to like about one party that stands for greed,murder and destruction, and another that stands by for greed, murder and destruction?. . .”

Click here to download Highjack The Democrats


It's Scalia Time

The Bush administration will be history in another year, but his ultra right wing Supreme Court will continue the nightmare for many years to come . . .

Click here to download It's Scalia Time

What Every American Should
Know About Iraq

There are many inarguable truths that defy the propaganda and lies about the US invasion occupation and occupation of Iraq. Here are some of them.

Click here to download What Every American Should Know

Now I Am Become Death, The Destroyer Of Worlds

"The destructive force of Hurricane Bush continues to roll across the countryside, leaving
in its wake devastation worthy of a Cormac McCarthy novel . . .”

Click here to download Now I Am Become Death

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